Three-year-old Elliott is in a “Remember that?” phase. She’ll tell you a story of an event in her little short life, tilt her head, and then say in her wee high-pitched voice, “Remember that?”
This summer with the cousins, she was often the third girl out. The older girls played and played, and sometimes Ellie was kind of left on her own.
But if she was feeling lonely, she knew all she had to do was find this Granny. On one exhausting day, we both fell fast asleep in a chair. One of the girls posted it on facebook. (Three-year-olds curled up asleep in a Granny’s lap look cute; a 58 year old woman with head fallen back, asleep in a chair looks—well, not cute.)
Of all the events that Elliott likes to remind me of, falling asleep together in the chair is one of the most common. One thing I’ve noticed about Elliott’s memories that she reminds us of is that they are almost always happy things, and they are always relational—something she experienced with someone else.
It’s easy to get caught up into the exhaustion of the world, the frustration of people. What do you do when it seems like nothing is going right? When it seems like the people you are supposed to love best, frustrate you the most?
Somewhere, way back years ago, I remember hearing that a wife should focus on the positive things about her husband. (Not bad advice for the other spouse as well.)
But when things get rough, it’s so easy to only ponder the things we don’t like at that moment. It’s so easy to forget—to forget the good times and the reasons we fell in love to begin with.
Sometimes we need to be reminded to remember—to remember the happy, the good, the blessing.
I recently read an article that stated that most people who said that they were unhappy in their marriage yet did not leave their spouse responded that they were happy five years later.
At times focusing on the positive has been an act of discipline. It’s true for all lasting relationships.
Do you feel like giving up today? Tossing in the towel and walking right out?
Find the good, even if you have to go back years to find it. Replace the angry and hurtful thoughts with the good, even if it’s just one thing. Remember that?