It’s impossible to make somebody love me. I may try—try to be good, try to be nice, try to be fun; but love—love is a gift, a gift one chooses to give.
Now, I do think people should try to be good, try to be kind and fun too, but those alone won’t bring us love. We can’t make love happen anymore than we can make rain. Love is a choice.
And it struck me last year—as I contemplated love—that if Jay loves me, it’s because he must choose to do so. I want to be a good wife, and I want him to love me, but only he can choose, choose to love me. He could love anyone, or no one at all, but he choses to love me.
And though I often don’t consciously think of it, I choose to love him, every morning, every day, all these many years.
Then, if people choose to love—should it not remind me that God has chosen to love as well? God looked down on humanity, and He chose to love. I don’t know why; He just did. He chose to love us. He chose to love me. He could have loved anyone, or no one at all, yet He choses to love me.
And under the paradoxical sovereignty of choice, I choose to love Him, to pursue a strange and mystical relationship with a Being so incredibly beyond myself.
So, this year (or at least for awhile) I think I’ll choose to focus on love, because I think it’ll be good for me and maybe good for you—for love can be neither purchased nor cajoled. Love is a choice. And when 2012 comes to an end, I want to look back and see that I have loved.